Archive for the ‘Uncategorized’ Category

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Southern Women

May 3, 2009

Southern women appreciate their natural assets:
Clean skin.
A winning smile.
That unforgettable Southern drawl.

Southern women know their manners:
‘Yes, ma’am.’
‘Yes, sir.’
‘Why, no, Billy!’

Southern women have a distinct way with fond expressions :
‘Y’all come back!’
‘Well, bless your heart.’
‘Drop by when you can.’
‘How’s your Momma?’

Southern women know their summer weather report:
Humidity
Humidity
Humidity

Southern women know their vacation spots :
The beach
The rivuh
The crick

Southern women know the joys of June, July, and August:
Colorful hi-heel sandals
Strapless sun dresses
Iced sweet tea with mint
Straw hats and big sunglasses

Southern women know everybody’s first name:
Honey
Darlin’
Shugah

Southern women know the movies that speak to their hearts:
Fried Green Tomatoes
Divine Secrets of the Ya-Ya Sisterhood
Steel Magnolias
Gone With The Wind

Southern women know their religions:
Baptist
Methodist
Football

Southern women know their country breakfasts:
Grits
Eggs
Country ham
Mouth-watering homemade biscuits with Momma’s homemade jelly

Southern women know their cities dripping with Southern charm:
Chawl’stn
S’vanah
Foat Wuth
N’awlins
Addlanna

Southern women know their elegant gentlemen:
Men in uniform.
Men in tuxedos
Rhett Butler

Southern girls know their prime real estate:
The Mall
The Country Club
The Beauty Salon

Southern girls know the 3 deadly sins:
Having bad hair and nails
Having bad manners
Cooking bad food

More Suthen-ism’s:
Only a Southerner knows the difference between a hissie fit and a conniption fit , and that you don’t ‘HAVE’ them, you ‘PITCH’ them.
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Only a Southerner knows how many fish, collard greens, turnip greens, hushpuppies, peas, beans, etc., make up ‘a mess.’
_____
Only a Southerner can show or point out to you the general direction of ‘yonder.’
_____
Only a Southerner knows exactly how long ‘directly’ is,… as in: ‘Going to town, be back directly.’
_____
Even Southern babies know that ‘Gimme some sugar’ is not a request for the white, granular sweet substance that sits in a pretty little bowl in the middle of the table.
_____
All Southerners know exactly when ‘by and by’ is. They might not use the term, but they know the concept well.
_____
Only a Southerner knows instinctively that the best gesture of solace for a neighbor who’s got trouble is a plate of hot fried chicken and a big bowl of cold potato salad. If the neighbor’s trouble is a real crisis, they also know to add a large banana puddin!
_____
Only Southerners grow up knowing the difference between ‘right near’ and ‘a right far piece.’ They also know that ‘just down the road’ can be 1 mile or 20.
_____
Only a Southerner, both knows and understands, the difference between a redneck, a good ol’ boy, and po’ white trash.
_____
No true Southerner would ever assume that the car with the flashing turn signal is actually going to make a turn.
_____
A Southerner knows that ‘fixin’ can be used as a noun, a verb, or an adverb.
_____
Only Southerners make friends while standing in lines, … and when we’re ‘in line,’ . we talk to everybody!
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Put 100 Southerners in a room and half of them will discover they’re related, even if only by marriage.
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In the South, y’all is singular, all y’all is plural.
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Southerners know grits come from corn and how to eat them.
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Every Southerner knows tomatoes with eggs, bacon, grits, and coffee are perfectly wonderful; that red eye gravy is also a breakfast food; and that fried green tomatoes are not a breakfast food.
_____
When you hear someone say, ‘Well, I caught myself lookin’,’ you know you are in the presence of a genuine Southerner!
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Only true Southerners say ‘sweet tea,’  ‘sweet milk,’ and ‘light bread’. Sweet tea indicates the need for sugar and lots of it — we do not like our tea unsweetened. ‘Sweet milk’ means you don’t want buttermilk.  And ‘Light bread’ is white bread.
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And a true Southerner knows you don’t scream obscenities at little old ladies who drive 30 MPH on the freeway. You just say,’Bless her heart’ … and go your own way.
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To those of you who are still a little embarrassed by your Southerness: Take two tent revivals and a dose of sausage gravy and call me in the morning. Bless your heart!
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And to those of you who are still having a hard time understanding all this Southern stuff, … bless your hearts, I hear they are fixin’ to have classes on Southernness as a second language!
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And for those that are not from the South but have lived here for a long time, all y’all need a sign to hang on y’alls front porch that reads ‘I ain’t from the South, but I got here as fast as I could.’

If you’re a Northern transplant, Bless your little heart, fake it.  We know you got here as fast as you could !

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Cheetos Commercial

January 29, 2009
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Target Free Three Day Weekend

January 10, 2009

This Sunday tell your friends to get their FREE tickets to the DBG for Presidents’ Day Weekend in Febuary.

The Target Free Three Day Weekend is Presidents’ Day Weekend, February 14-16.
Target purchased all the tickets for that weekend and are giving them away! Be sure to go to the DBG website on Sunday Jan 11th to reserve your free tickets for that weekend. They will “sell out” quickly and when they’re gone, they’re gone.

Don’t miss it!

www.dbg.org

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Mountain Lake dries up and reveals secrets

September 23, 2008

Remember that beautiful lake in the movie Dirty Dancing? The lush green of the mountain and the dark blue of the lake were very relaxing. The lake is gone now. It sounds impossible but it is, and no it’s not global warming. Apparently scientists believe that the lake naturally drains and disappears. Historical records seem to back this up too. The Roanoke Times article, with an excerpt shown below, explains in more detail.

Mountain Lake may be the only known lake in the world to periodically disappear, sometimes for decades. This phenomenon has been recorded since the 18th century and may be related to earthquakes.

The first reference to what is now called Mountain Lake dates to 1751, when British surveyor Christopher Gist explored Giles County and West Virginia for the Ohio Company. In his journals, Gist describes climbing a mountain and finding a clear-water lake, a gravel shore and “fine meadow.” By 1768, however, settlers said such a lake was nowhere to be found in what is now Giles County. Instead, they used the site as a salt lick for cattle, hence the name Salt Pond Mountain.

Photographer Richard Cobb shows the dramatic change in photographs.

Mountain Lake Before and After

With the drop in water previously lost items are being found, including a body. It is believed to be a man from the 1930’s. The Roanoke Times describes the personal effects found with the bones.

He wore a belt with a silver buckle and carried a fancy silver cigarette box, both engraved with elaborate cursive initials that appear to be “SCF.”

His old McCreery wingtip shoes had Sullivan’s Safety Cushion heels held in place with six nails.

His gold class ring carried the initials “MC” on one side and “CA” on the other, above images of trees carved into the metal. It bore a date on top that appears to signify that it is from the Class of ’04 — most likely 1904, Giles County sheriff’s investigators say.

Hopefully someone will recognize the class ring, cigarette box. Maybe someone will remember something from half a century ago when the stone hotel was new. Perhaps this mystery will help bring tourists to the wonderful Mountain Lake Hotel that is now by a lovely grassy meadow.

********************* Update 10/16/08************************

The class ring found near the bones proved to be the biggest help. Investigators say it’s from Clemson University in South Carolina. University officials have provided Giles authorities a picture of a 1904 class ring matching the type found at Mountain Lake. Investigators say they have the person’s identity narrowed down to three possible names from that Clemson class.

************************Update 10/21/08**********************

Watch video from WSLS here

The layered mystery at Mountain Lake is unfolding.Two brothers, one from Virginia and one from Maryland say they’ve successfully closed the case and have the name everyone has been waiting for, Samuel Felder.

All the evidence found served as small clues into an unknown man’s life, but two tokens gave this mystery legs. “The main item was the ring, because once you can identify what college it came from it clearly on the ring 04, so that would have been 1904 and then the belt buckle initials were the clue that allowed you to find out what the guys name was,” said Jim Dalmas, in a phone interview from Maryland.

Dalmas makes it sound easy, but many questions have been looming since the remains, class ring, watch, shoes and belt buckle were found almost exactly a month ago.Dalmas took the initials and ring and called a number of schools searching for answers. “I hadn’t gotten to Clemson when the sheriff’s office discovered that the ring had come from Clemson University,” he said.

Clemson had three graduates of 1904 with the initials S.F.

After Dalmas narrowed it down to who he thought the mystery man was he did some searching and found a newspaper article from 1921 and in the headline it said “S. I. Felder, Troy, N.Y. Falls Overboard at Mountain Lake; Drowns.”

“As far as I was concern once we found the newspaper article from South Carolina it was a slam dunk,” Dalmas said.

Giles County investigators aren’t confirming the identity of the mystery man.

They tell 10 On Your Side they’re still waiting for a family member to come forward, so they can make a DNA match.By Lindsey Ward

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So, now we don’t even have to walk?

August 1, 2008

Has anyone seen Wall-E and the people that don’t walk anymore and have food brought to them? We’re heading that direction.
Americans don’t get enough exercise already. We drive everywhere, sit behind computers or game consoles and have food delivered because it would expend too much energy to actually prepare and cook a meal. Then we complain that we are overweight and join a gym. So now we pack our exercise into one hour sadomasochistic sessions to suppress our guilt. Over time we give up on the gym and just expand. Now we don’t even have to exercise during the few times we would actually get exercise when we have to walk. I wonder if these inventions are funded by diet scam companies and the pharmaceutical industry?

I must say I am guilty of all of the above except the game console and I do find Winglet really cool. Am I going to hell in a hand basket of deep fried gluttony?

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Glow in the Dark Tomato

July 31, 2008

non-safety matches (phosphorous), bleach, hydrogen peroxide and a tomato.